More than he Expected
by Xandra the Blue
Summary: Dudley falls for a girl who he knows he can never have. Turns out fates a lot more flexible than he thought. Dudley ends up discovering a lot about himself and other people. AU between OftP and HBP
1. Charmless Man

More than he expected.

Dudley falls for a girl who he knows he can never have. Turns out fates a lot more flexible than he thought. Dudley ends up discovering a lot about himself and other people. AU between OftP and HBP

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Chapter 1 – Charmless man

Dudley Dursley, in the summer of his AS's, sat under a tree in the school grounds with his gang of minions, watching the world go by.

"Hey, Big D, what do we do now?" asked Milton, a boy who was so desperate to be Ghetto that he put on a fake Brixton accent (regardless of the fact he lived in a rather nice part of London), "We've finished exams, and the ball's next week. We got nothing to do, 'cept go to lessons."

There was a general consensus of grunts. Like that was going to happen – they'd just finished exams; they weren't going to study for new ones.

Piers, a rat-faced boy with curly hair, casually scrunched up a homework sheet and threw it at Dudley. "D!" he exclaimed, "plans please!"

"For god's sake, can't you think for yourself?" Dudley snapped, "Lets just enjoy the sun – and wait for the first years to come out…" he picked up his smelting stick and flicked it through the air with a sharp swishing sound. The other boys laughed.

"They won't know what hit'em – until we leave a big "D" imprinted on their arses." Cackled Kegs (short for Kevin, but was unlikely to admit this to anyone – he would rather people thought he binge drank, rather than knew the fact that he could get rat-arsed on one and a half pints and was infamous for being unable to hold any amount of alcohol.)

They all laughed at this thought. Then, quickly, Milton said, "guys – we don't have dates for the ball next week – we ought to go to St Beatrice's and search for one."

All the boys moaned, and Milton was hit by a flurry of folders and books. "Aw, shut up Milton" Kegs groaned, "we're not going – it'll be crap. Nothing worth going for and the themes gay – masked ball – how gay is that."

"Yeah, and anyway, we'll gatecrash anyway." Piers said, "before going back to dorms and getting started on the real party. What do you say to that , Big D?"

"I say…we go to St Beatrice's." said Dudley, standing up, "I'm not fucking staying around here all afternoon – St Beatrice girls are hot. Anyway, I want to see Sharon."

"She's got nice tits." piers leered.

"So, what is the deal between you two anyway?" asked Milton, "I mean, she's into you. And didn't you two fuck on Dr Tibbin's desk?"

Dudley laughed. "Yeah – then Mr Tibbins came in – seriously, I've never lost an erection faster. Especially as he was coming in to wank, over pictures of little boys on his computer."

They all laughed. Dudley grinned. "yeah, he came in and screamed, reported me to the master as well. I don't see what his problem is – nobody told when he felt Runty up."

It was the rumour that had gone around the entire school – Runty, whose real name was suspected to have been Roland, was a small, effeminate boy with a tendency towards floppy hair-cuts and high pitched voices. Roland's actual sexuality was rather ambiguous, but because he was small, a scholarship student, slightly gay and a favourite of the History tutor, it had been assumed that there was at least an illicit relationship between the two, even if they hadn't got around to sleeping with each other yet.

"But c'mon – Dudley, tell us! We're you friends – she's one of the hottest and most popular girls there – you'd make such a good couple…"

Dudley thought about this for a moment. Sharon was also possibly one of the most annoying women he knew, including his mother. He knew he should fancy her, he knew that he did fancy her, but he couldn't see himself with her; it would be like dating Piers or Milton – people he liked to have around him because they made him feel better about himself, not because he particularly liked them. Okay, that was a lie, he did like them, but sometimes…sometimes he wished he could have a conversation where people wouldn't treat him like a God or a leader, a leader who could change peoples attitudes and thoughts, he wished sometimes he'd meet someone who would, for once, tell him what they thought without waiting to see what he thought.

As is the usual literature convention in this sort of narrative, Dudley was unaware that his present situation was about to change and, of course, that what he considered to be an idle thought that he hadn't properly thought through, was about to happen.

However, in ignorance of this fact, Dudley Dursley walked to the sister school, climbing over the fence easily, walking to the back door which was nearly always left unlocked, and even when it wasn't, usually would be opened for him by one of the girls. He pushed it open easily, and walked into the corridor, full of pre-teen girls re-applying eye-make up and eating sweets. Dudley ignored them, as well as his gang and made his way to common room as quickly as possible. However, before they had even reached the short-cut stairs, they saw a sight they never thought they'd ever see; Runty within the walls of St Beatrice's.

"Runty?" gasped Dudley in surprise. Runty looked around and stared at Dudley like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a ten wheeler lorry and, grabbing his horn rimmed glasses and turning elegantly on his perfectly polished winkle-pickers, legged it as fast as he could down the corridor.

"Get 'im!" Dudley yelled like a battle cry, and before anyone knew what was going on, Dudley and his gang were chasing Runty, pushing gangs of fourteen year old girls out of the way, shouting abuse at him. Runty, considering how un-athletic he was, ran quiet quickly, much more quickly than the muscular Dudley and might have managed to escape the gang's wrath and therefore change the events of Dudley's life if he had just leapt up the stairs and hid in the teacher's cubby hole in the physics lab, as he briefly through of doing before blind panic came over him, causing him to grab at the banister, swing around the corner and make a break for the side door out onto St Beatrice's field. He might have still made it, as he had a clean run, free of pupils and teachers, but unfortunately for him the floor had just been mopped, and his shoes had very little traction causing him to slip, skid like a break dancer half-way down the hall before finally falling on his front, knocking the breath out of him and forcing his glasses to soar through the air and land spinning a little further down the hallway. Dudley quickly jumped on Runty's back, putting him in a headlock as Milton went for the glasses, and Kegs grabbed Runty's legs so he had absolutely no hope of moving. Pier's, knowing exactly how Dudley liked to treat his victims, managed to tease Runty' satchel from underneath his body and opened it.

"Oh, what's this?" Pier's asked sarcastically, as he took a CD out of his bag, "Runty, into music not books? Dear god!"

"Pass it here…" said Dudley, holding his arm out for it. Pier's passed it obediently, as Dudley grabbed it and read the name out very carefully, "Louis the 14th?"

"Well done, you can read." Runty said sarcastically. Dudley sat down heavily on his, making the poor boy cry out in pain.

"Oh, what would your mother think? It has a picture of a naked woman on the front. She wouldn't like that, would she – but I forgot, you don't like girls, do you?" they all laughed at Runty as he struggled, biting his tongue to keep him from saying anything that might result in a beating.

"Look what else is in here Dudley…"Pier's said, "Mystery Jets? Who're the Mystery Jets?"

"A gay band?" Dudley said, laughing, "and what's this? We Are Scientists? Awwww, lookit the widdle kitties on the fwront…"

"Look, just give me a beating, but put that down! Those aren't mine!" Runty piped up, "those are a friends!"

"A friends? I don't think Mr Tibbs listens to this sort of thing…" Dudley turned the CD around and looked at the back – "Look, they're all ugly geeks! One had a moustache!" he opened the case – "even the CD's pink! It's so gay, isn't it?"

They were all sniggering along with Dudley's joke, when they heard Runty gasp out, "Jessica!"

All the boys looked up immediately. They saw a girl at the end of the corridor, staring at them in disbelief. She parted her pink lips; her dull blue eyes open in horror and exclaimed, "Roland, what's going on?"

"Jess, just go, I'll meet you in the room next to the library…" Runty gasped.

"No way!" she said, stomping towards them, "go away!" she said to Dudley, "You've had your fun, now fuck off."

"Only if I can fuck off you." Dudley answered, grinning.

"Hah hah, very funny, but I'm not blind – now go away to masturbate over your pictures of Rugby players in the shower, like a good bunch of wankers."

Dudley, suddenly angry, got off Runty and ran over to her, grabbing her wrist. "What?" he shouted at her.

Jessica looked him in the eye, in such a way that Dudley had to take a step back – his searing rage was now mixing in with unbridled horniness. As he looked her in the face he suddenly saw something he'd never seen before – a genuinely beautiful girl. He'd seen many glamorous girls before, hundreds of pretty girls wearing too much make up, but he'd never seen a girl without make up on before, not even his mother, and he wasn't sure how to react. Not a scrap of make up, no fake tan, not even mascara and eyeliner; just herself. And god, she needed some mascara, her eyelashes so pale that it looked as if she hardly had any, and her skin blemished with a few spots, but even though he saw this and sneered, he felt himself unconsciously loosen his grip.

Jessica, eyes glittering with anger said, "If – if you don't leave now, I'll do something you'll regret!"

"Like what?" Dudley grinned, "Give me a kiss?"

All the boys laughed. "Ugly cow!" Kegs yelled at her, "who the hell would lower themselves to touch you!"

Jessica actually had tears starting up in her eyes. Shut up, Dudley thought, shut up you stupid bastards! She's far more beautiful than you could understand! She shock her head gently, her short blonde hair swishing around her head as she brought herself together and said loudly and clearly, "If you don't go away and leave my friend alone, I'll…" she stopped, unable to think of anything…

"You'll do what? C'mon, tell us!"

Dudley grabbed her other hand, with a book in it, and forced her up against a wall. "Why don't you give me a snog in the meantime?" He leaned forward, the rest of the gang sniggering, his hands wondering towards her bum. He squeezed it, causing her to let out a squeak. "Nice arse," Dudley smiled,"I'd like a piece of that."

Runty, although half-blind, managed to kick Kegs off him, and scrabbling to his feet, grabbed Dudley from behind, yelling a kamikaze yell, and managed to pull him away, slapping him in the face. "Don't you touch her!" he shouted, his throat scratching in anger, "Don't you touch her, you bastard!"

Dudley was surprised at Runty's bravery; he'd never seen him ever get so het up about anything – which was why he punched Runty in the stomach, kicked him in the balls and then, as Runty lie on the ground, gasping for air, he kicked him again. "Don't tell me what to do, you little runt!" Dudley hissed.

Dudley then turned back to Jessica. "Hey, why don't you dump him and come with us?" Dudley asked, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"I don't believe you!" Jessica spat, "I just don't believe you…"

"You won't get a better offer, " Dudley sniggered, "I know you're not popular, and I am, I don't just date anyone you know…"

"I don't…fuck off." Jessica shouted, falling to her knees, "give me those!" she spat, grabbing Runty's glasses from Pier's hands.

"Oh, you tell him to fuck off!" Kegs shouted angrily, "yeah, you tell him to fuck off you ugly whore! Big D can do better than a hideous unpleasant bitch like you! You're not fit to suck off even Runty here!"

"C'mon Kegs, lets go. We've go better things to do than stay around here." Dudley whispered, patting the boy on the shoulder.

"Yeah, let's go see some girls who know how to use make-up!" Piers sneered.

The gang left quickly, leaving Jessica and Runty on the floor together. Runty sat up, painfully, groaning a little. "Jess, are you…"

Jessica said nothing, and simply embraced Runty, who embraced her back. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" he moaned, wincing, "I will be soon anyway…"

"Who were they?" she asked, her voice flat and emotionless.

"Oh, just Dudley's gang, " Runty winced, taking his glasses from Jessica's hand, "Thanks for helping me like that."

"Don't worry, I don't like bullies. I've been on the receiving end of too many."

Runty suddenly realised that she had tears in her eyes. Blinking short sightedly at her he looked as she looked at the ground, her eyes turning a little red. He couldn't take it. He pushed her miserable face up, cradling it in his hands and said, "Jess, you're not ugly. In fact, you're one of the prettiest girls I know."

"Roland…I should know…but it still hurts." She whispered, tears running sown her cheek.

"Don't let it hurt, he's just a charmless man who couldn't get what he wants." Jess laughed through her tears as Runty sang "He thinks his educated airs, those family shares,Will protect him, that you will respect him… when you put it all together, There's the model of a charmless man."

"Blur?" she asked, sniffing a little.

"Guess which album, and I'll love you." Runty laughed.

"The great escape, I think." Jessica laughed, tears falling down her face, "and…and you also quote Muse."

Runty laughed and hugged her again. Then, taking her face again, holding in his hands and brushing aside a loose strand of blonde hair he admired her and sighed. "I wish that I wasn't already going out with someone – I'd fall for you in a shot. I hate to say it again, but you're better than that bastard, with his gang and his ego the size of a planet. He couldn't think for himself if his life depended on it, all he has is the ability to beat up people smaller than him. He couldn't love anyone if he tried." Then, leaning over, he kissed her cheek, just where the tears had fallen, and like a bridge falling apart collapsed against the wall. A tear of pain escaped his eyes, Jess wiping hers away.

"You're better than all of them – especially that Dudley, the coward. At least the others seemed to want to do it, but he seemed as if he was only doing it to keep control of his gang." She spat, "And, well, he's lost his chance with this fine piece of ass."

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I hope you liked that – I know this is waaaaaay AU, but to be fair, I think Dudley ought to get a little more screen time, plus I think that its an interesting premise – can he change?

Points to anyone who understands the references made to music in the chapter – Americans, please look up the mystery jets as their song "alas Agnes" is one of the most amusing things I've heard in a while. Plus, I've met them briefly (when very, very drunk and said something terribly embarrassing), are a father and son team (The Blonde guy used to be a stoner in the 60's, and now he's in a band with his son – it does seem a little bit like a mid-life crisis, or would if the songs weren't brilliant) and live near to where I live (Eel pie Island…whoo!). It may also come into play a little later in the story.

I usually have a song in mind whenever I write a chapter or scene, and this time it was a Blur song – Charmless man, and doesn't it just fit Dudley? I don't know why, but I just feel sorry for him – he's going to end up working at Gruntings afterwards, isn't he? And that's if he's lucky! I want to give him a bit more of a life.

So please r and r what you think – it might not be a great story, and maybe too Origional universe for most people, but I promise the mentions of magic will get stronger, and Harry will come in as a real threat quiet soon.

Hope to hear from you soon

Xandra the blue.


	2. You’ve got everything now

"Back at the old grey school  
I would win and you would lose"

The Smiths

Back! Oh yeah, Uni's being a bugger for writing, but here is chapter 2 – warning; drugs, drink and sex, all within one little chapter! But to be fair, I wasn't intending to shock, it really is the last memories of MY highschool (okay, maybe I was in the wrong crowd.)

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Chapter 2 – You've got everything now.

Three days later Dudley was hiding in a classroom in St Beatrice's with Sharon in the middle of the night.

"Baby, what's wrong?" asked Sharon, as she lie on top of Dudley, "you usually love getting head."

"Not today Sharon." He grunted. He had been lying here for an hour, but no matter what she did, he couldn't get aroused. Oh, he could get an errection, but sitting on a shaky bus could give him a stiffy and every time she looked at him, all he could think about was the girl he made a complete fool of himself of. Sharon has blonde hair, he reasoned, she has pretty eyes, she was far more…polished…in all fairness he ought to have preferred her – but that's what she was. Just polished. He doubted that she ever felt anything deeply, and severely doubted she would take the kind of abuse he gave to that girl to help out a friend. He also had the sense, all the time, that she was just doing this to cement her position as the most popular girl in school. He knew, even that time she slept with him, that she didn't want him, she just wanted to be able to say that she shagged the most popular guy at the brother school.

Dudley slipped his boxers back up, and got off the desk he'd been lying on, pushing her almost onto the floor.

"Dudley, this just isn't like you! What the hell's happened to you!"

"I dunno." He muttered, "I've just been thinking…"

"Oh dear god!" she sneered, "what can you have been thinking?"

"I've been thinking about things." Dudley snapped, doing up his belt, "I mean, would you have been doing this two years ago when I was fat? Hell no, I know that! Would you be have slept with me if I wasn't the wrestling captain? Fuck no!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake Dudley!" Sharon yelled, "you won't fancy me if I weren't pretty, but I don't get all crappy about it! What's brought this on?"

"Nothing! I'm just sick of it!" Dudley stated, "You know that next year we're all leaving, and y'know what? This isn't going to matter. None of this – that we were cool, that we were in the school teams, none of it! And that fact we went to St B's and Smeltings will be a disgrace, not a badge of honour! People'll look down on us, say we were coached for A levels, but y'know, I've got sick of this little bubble we live in, this little bubble where it matters more to people to be sycophantic than to be true."

"Dudley – this is the ONLY place you'll matter! In the real world, you're right, people won't care, but here we do! We do matter! And we have to take as much advantage of this as possible! We have a brilliant relationship – I'm the captain of the Lacross team, you're captain of the wrestling team! What could go wrong?"

"I don't believe you Sharon!" Dudley growled, "I just don't believe you! Look, if this is all that matters to you in a relationship, why don't you go fuck the Rugby captain? Rodderig is much better looking than me, and you'll still get the same cred."

"Dudley – if I do that, people'll say I'm a whore!" Sharon exclaimed, "I don't want to get a reputation for sleeping around with all the popular people!"

"Too late Sharon, I'm going back."

Dudley left the classroom. Sharon, dressed in nothing but her underwear ran out and shouted, "Where do you think you're going? You know what? I could have got Rodderig if I wanted to the first time, but I thought you cared about me! I love you Dudley!"

Dudley turned around and looked at her. "How can I tell." He asked, "How many times have you said that to people? How many times are you going to say that in the future to people whose only saving grace is that they'll give you a promotion, or a raise?"

Sharon walked forward a few steps, half-kneeling in her naked shame and said, "Ever since you lost that weight, I fell for you."

"Goodnight Sharon." Dudley said, turning away, "I'm not up for lies this evening."

As he left, he didn't hear Sharon get up and start to cry.

Dudley returned to Smeltings in the early hours of the morning, climbing over the fence, trekking through the mud and climbing up the old drain-pipe up to his room. Sliding through the window back to his dormitory, he saw that everyone else was asleep. Dudley, sneaking back to his bed, decided he didn't want to sleep just yet – his mind was racing. He took off the tie, throwing it on his bed, and sighed.

What the hell was he doing? He had just set up six months of shit for himself when he got back – from both Smeltings and St Beatrice's. The boy's would all be accusing him of being stupid, not going out with her, saying he was gay, and the girls would all be saying he was a bastard. Nice. At least it was summer soon, but Sharon lived so close to him…What he really needed now was a spliff to calm himself down. Quietly he walked to Pier's bed, opened his draw, took some weed from a plastic sandwich bag hidden in a hollowed out maths book (sometimes even Pier's stupidity astounded him) and walked to the common room.

He sat down and began to roll up, staring out of the window for a moment when he realised he could hear a low buzzing sound. He placed the roll-up behind his ear, and turned around. Runty was sitting in a chair, far away, his eyes concentrating on a book, with an ipod on. Dudley sighed. He really needed company, and apart from probably being gayer than a window, he thought that Runty was the least likely to be annoyed being woken up, and was small enough to be scared into silence.

He looked at Runty, his black hair flopped over his face, his pretty amber brown eyes following the lines of the book. He felt a pang of guilt over the black eye he had, and the pain he must have been in. Dudley hadn't really wanted to hurt him – he hadn't even wanted to chase him and pin him down, but he'd started bullying him in the first year, and although they'd got far less sever now, Dudley could hardly say 'now guys, let's be nice to him, even though he is the antithesis of everything we are' to his gang. It just wasn't done.

Dudley decided that let bygones be bygones, and went to sit next to him, asking, "What'cha reading?"

Runty practically leapt and staring at him hissed, "Oh Fuck!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, don't jump! I just want to talk to you!"

"No you don't…" Runty said, closing his book, "You just want to make fun of me, and you've already had your fun for today!"

"No, I don't! Stay, please, I really…look, want some weed?"

Runty looked at him suspiciously, crossing his legs underneath his velvet dressing gown and said, "No thanks." Dudley lit up, and breathed in a little smoke. "well, that explains why this place smells like cannabis every morning." Runty remarked.

"Shut up, Runty." Dudley scowled, "I want to talk to you."

"What could this be about? Oh, lets see, maybe you want to find ways to make your torment of me more efficient? Why don't you just cut my wrists and watch me bleed, as my presence in your life seems to offend you so much!"

"Fuck off!" Dudley sniped, "I just want to talk to you, and all I get is abuse!"

"Oh yeah, I wonder where that came from?" Runty sneered.

"I dumped Sharon today." Dudley said.

Runty looked visibly astounded. "What?" he asked icily, after a full five seconds of shocked silence.

"I don't love her. I don't like her enough to want to go out with her, but otherwise we're perfect. I don't get it. I get all I want from her, but it still isn't enough."

"Actually, if you're offering…" Runty took the joint from Dudley's unresisting hands and inhaled.

Dudley looked at him in shock. "I didn't know you smoked!"

"Why did you offer if you didn't want me to have some?"

"Because I though you wouldn't!"

"Well, that's the thing; you don't know anything about me." Runty snapped, "and, from the years of having you beat the living crap out of me, I've had some time to work out what your problems are, without ever having to say a word."

"So, what are they?" Dudley asked, knowing he was about to get a load of crap.

"Well, you mean apart from the reasoning abilities and self control of a toddler?" asked Runty.

"Apart from those, Runty." Dudley said, emphasising the 'runty'.

"Well, you're a coward, Big D. Now, I know what you're thinking, there's no way you could be a coward, but I've seen how you go along with your gang, even when you could avoid it; you don't want'em to hate you. But Dudley, everybody hates you – not just me and my friends, no, everybody hates you, but you seem to have built up the impression of being popular. But you're not. You hang with the popular kids, you throw parties and get drunk with them, but they don't actually like you. I doubt those gang members really, really like you, but you see, because you're big and strong, people fear you, fear you turning on them and that's why the popular kids have you around – they know what they're doing here; all future politicians and they know to keep their friends close and their enemies closer."

"Is that it?" asked Dudley.

"Well, there's a psychologists report worth of various annoying habits, and an obvious mother fixation, because you're such a big baby, but other than that, you're just a fucking arsehole."

"Thanks." Dudley said, rolling his eyes. He took another puff, and said, "Really? I never realised people thought I was that strong."

"You're the captain of the fucking wresting team – of course you're strong! It's not like you're a weed to get a position like that!"

"I don't understand you." Dudley sighed, "Why aren't you scared now? I could beat you up without even trying, but here you are, insulting me to my face."

"Well, y'know, without your little gang, you aren't so big, and to be frank, even though you've hurt me enough times to make sure I can't be in the same room with you, I know that you probably won't admit to ever talking to me, and you've got no one to impress by beating me."

"Who was that girl you were with?" Asked Dudley.

"My friend Jess. Why? "

Dudley didn't know what to say. "Does she hate me for what I did?"

"Yes." Runty replied.

"Why couldn't you even attempt to sugar coat that?" Dudley moaned.

"Because I don't sugar coat things any more." Runty answered.

"How do you know her? Why have I never seen her before?" he asked.

"Because she only came for sixth form. I met her at a gig over the summer, and we've been friends ever since."

"But I swear I met the other new girl…" an extremely plain girl with her head stuck in a book, Dudley remembered. She hung around with the cool kids sometimes, but she was hardly hot.

"Yeah, well y'know what people are like – we were friends, so she's an instant outcast. She says she used to it."

"Why should she be an outcast? She's fucking beautiful!" Dudley exclaimed.

"Well, the fact that you beat up anyone associated with me helps – especially as I'm supposed to be sleeping with Mr Tibbins." Runty deadpanned with far more humour than Dudley would have been able to express.

"Ouch." Dudley thought he ought to apologise – but he didn't want to apologise to Runty; he wanted to apologise to Jess. _Apologise_? A part of him thought, _when did Dudley Dursley ever apologise to anyone_? There was a self conscious silence when Dudley made another, very stupid suggestion. "I've got half a bottle of Vodka left after the last party we had in our room. Wanna join me?"

Runty, who was just about to put his ear-phones back in looked mildly shocked. "Sure…this night can't get much weirder."

An hour later, and a fully emptied bottle of Vodka later, Dudley Dursley, stoned and drunk, was giggling away like an idiot with a very stoned Runty, still sitting on the floor of the common room.

"y'know what Runty…" Dudley slurred, "Y'not as bad as seem. You haven't tried to feel me up once…"

"te he heee…naw, I can't be arsed…" Runty grinned.

"Y'know what, your friend is very pretty." Dudley smiled, "veeeeery pretty."

"Which one? I have a lot of very pretty friends. Maybe you'd like to meet them."

"Like who?" asked Dudley.

"People not here…people I go gigging with, and, of course, my friends at 'Stay Beautiful.' I miss them…They so pretty!"

"No, girl here. Jessica. I think she's really pretty."

Runty tilted his head. "Yeah, she's pretty. Very pretty. I mean, she can't use eye-liner for toffee, but still, she has to beat-em off with a stick."

"I like your friend…I really like her…I haven't stopped thinking about her for ages…"

"awww…look, if it means that much to you, come to the premature Oxbridge lesson we're having. I mean, they aren't subject related, but we get to discuss stuff and she'll be there."

"Coool…so, bring a bottle?"

"Naw – just come and think. I'll be fun…"

"Oxbridge…wait, this is a geeks thing, isn't it?"

"whua?"

"Oxford and Cambridge! Nerdy stuff! All talking about pretentious crap and books nobody ever reads."

"Most of the time, if the teachers had their way, yeah, but we've got Mr Tibbins. He doesn't believe in that crap – he likes running this class, it's got to be more interesting that socio-political history in the 19th century."

"Wait! Mr Tibbins…"

"This week we're…I dunno. I suppose we'll do what we did last week and make jokes about kittens…" then Runty started laughing. "te heee heeee, kittens! Ha ha ha!"

Dudley started laughing too. "Kitties in sinks!"

"Kitties in boots!"

"Pussy! Pussy Galore" Both boys started laughing raucously.

"Runty, how come you made friends with the prettiest girl in school, and I didn't know?" asked Dudley.

"I dunno, " Runty said, still laughing a little, "maybe its because I'm sooooo pretty!"

Runty burst out into another giggling fit. Dudley didn't, and put his head in his hands. Runty, after a while stopped laughing and whispered, "You're pretty hung up on her, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Dudley moaned quietly, "I never felt like this before…"

"I know what you mean. She's amazing, in her own little way…" Runty considered, "It gets worse when you know her, but you know that…"

"No, it's not that!" Dudley exclaimed, going a little green, "I gonna be sick…"

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What the hell are they smoking? No spliff between two could do that? But please – allow artistic license.

Yeah – I know, Drug use. But to be honest, if you're in high school and don't know at least one stoner, you're either in denial or at a very over - protected school. I see Dudley as being the "stoner" type, partly because it's rebellious and partly because I can see him and simply needed to mellow out. I'd say that the "stoner" stereotype is probably less prevalent in England than America, but teenagers in England are generally more calm about pot (okay, I got the pun) than American ones (because of certain drug laws, which I will not go into), and that most of my friends have tried pot at least once (and a few smoke or used to smoke on a regular basis).

One of the funniest stories I've heard is my boyfriend going to English (he attended a reasonably posh day school) after stoning his brains out. He turned up twenty minutes late, stared at the wall for five, and then was set in front of a load of Chaucer. He apparently giggled, tried to read it before shouting "maaaaah mah maaaaaaah", then putting it down and saying, "Y'know what? I can't read this."

He still passed all his exams and got full marks. Bastard. I suppose because of the lack of Dudley info in the books, I'm kinda using him as a little bit of a model. I mean, he's a rugby playing public school boy, through and through, but he's also very clever and astute, but hated school. However, he isn't a perfect model as he isn't into music, never will be and I doubt I could transform Dudley into a sci – fi loving transhumanist.

The thing is, I don't think Dudley's stupid. Oh, he's not necessarily academic, and he's certainly not going to enjoy poetry over pot, but I see him understanding his system he's in and sooner or later, realising its fragility.

So, with an existential crisis, Dudley goes to Runty – I love Runty – He's based on a few indie blokes I've met, but mainly on a friend's friend at Uni. He's so pretentious, but he also knows that he is ridiculous. Plus I thought I'd make him a very big man, prepared to forgive and forget, the kind of person who really has the world into proportion. Also, he has a few secrets hidden in his sleeve…

Be warned – I will refer to random bands, and I do ask you to look them up as and when you can, as they're usually bands I love. I can't help being a scenster…


	3. New Futures

Hello again! Ha, times have been crazy, had preliminary examinations in Philosophy and Theology, three days with only 4 hours sleep a night, my moods have been swinging between ecstatically happy and horrifically depressed, but fortunately for me I've got some good people or have at least convinced myself this is the case. I've got a hell of a lot of in-gags and silly things in this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Oh yeah – Stay Beautiful is a Real club night in London…

Chapter 3 – New futures.

_The ones who made a difference  
By withstanding the indifference  
I guess it's up to me now  
Should I take that risk or just smile?_

_Misread – Kings of Convenience_

"You did WHAT?" asked Jean – Luke.

Runty, very bleary eyed, his tie uncharacteristically at half-mast and top button undone, shook his head saying, "Look, don't give me a hard time…I've been really stressed…"

"Not that!" snapped Jessica, "We've all smoked weed, hell, we've shared sneaky spliffs before, but with Him? Dudley Dursley? They guy who's beaten up everyone in this room at least once?"

"I still have permanent scaring from where he dragged me across the car-park!" Goats, a boy with unfortunately whispy hair and a pointed chin1, exclaimed.

"I know, I know! I don't know what I was thinking! But it seemed like a good idea at the time…"

"Well, Mr Tibbins will probably just kick him out anyway…"sighed Moore, "Hopefully. But still, Roland, could you have done something more stupid if you'd tried?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up Moore, he probably won't even turn up2." Runty said, staring Moore in the face, "He didn't quiet white-out last night, but he came pretty close."

"Well, all I can say is that he deserves every little bit of pain he gets for what he did to Jess, " said a coat-hanger thin girl called Nina, "doesn't he?"

"He barely did anything to me, it's Roland who got the worse end of him…seriously, I thought that people had grown out of that stupid stuff by now, but he proves that either I'm desperately wrong about people, or that he's the missing link between ape and man."

All of them giggle bitterly at her insult, and as the door opened all of them leapt onto desks to sit on.

"Ah, popular as always." Mr Tibbin's said with a smile.

"Well, at least we have more members than the creative writing club." Said Jessica.3

"Which reminds me – anyone thinking of apply for English?" Nina put her hand up. "Well, just remember this one fact – Tennison4 can't write, but you're not allow to say this to anyone. I was reminded of it as I was looking through my poetry the other day." Mr Tibbins leant up against the desk and said, "So, my foot soldier's of knowledge, any requests?"

"Oh! Can we pretend we're the history boys and do a scene from brief encounters5?" asked Jean-Luke.

"Hmm, maybe not. I'm not in the mood. Now, if it's Evil dead, maybe a bit of comi-horror, I'd be in the mood."

"Comi-horror, how can something be comic and horrible?" asked Moore

"I think we've just got our question for today!" Mr Tibbins exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

Suddenly the door burst open, and Dudley Dursley, in all his dishevelled glory stood there, light shinning in behind him, slouching nonchalantly, a cigarette in one hand and a cup of cold coffee in the other. His hair was a mess, he smelt faintly of sweat and vodka, and, in his rush to get here, his face had gone a particularly unattractive shade of red.

There was a general consensus of eye brow raising.

Mr Tibbin's was the first to speak.

"Ah, Dursley…what are you doing here?" Mr Tibbins looked positively puzzled.

"I've come for the Oxbridge lessons." Dudley panted.

There was a stony silence and a unity of affronted disbelief.

"Okay…" Said Mr Tibbins, his face the face of a man whose entire knowledge of the world had been turned upside down, and had, as a result, tried to shut it out, "any particular reason?"

"What reason could I possibly have for going to an Oxbridge lesson?" asked Dudley sarcastically.

"I don't know." Said Mr Tibbins, honestly unable to find a reason. "So, have any idea what college you want to go to yet."

"College6?"

"Okay, it's a difficult decision, which University, Oxford or Cambridge?"

"Not a clue."

"Well, that's okay, again, you've got to look at the different courses, especially as they differ so much even in the same subject…what subject do you have an interest in?"

"I dunno."

Mr Tibbins sighed and said, "Sit down Dursley."

Dudley, noticing a space on the desk next to Jessica, walked over and pulled himself on it. He smiled at her – she scowled and shifted away from him. Dudley noticed that quiet a few people did. Then the thought struck him – he'd beaten up, insulted and ostracised every person in that room. They all were moving away from him, staring at him with a look on their face that made sure that Dudley knew he wasn't welcome.

He'd never felt so unpopular in his life. The only person not giving him evils was Runty, and he looked like he was somewhere between dying of embarrassment and utter self loathing. Even Mr Tibbins was having to look away from him and looked visibly uncomfortable. Dudley wished he'd brought a friend with him, but he hadn't. Maybe Runty was right – he was a coward – he felt so utterly petrified; if Piers, or Kegs, or even Milton had been there, he would probably have slagged off everyone in that room and run off, but not before destroying the room, but he didn't. He sat there, with everyone hating him, and felt like dying.

"Now, as Moore was saying, how can something be comic and horrific at the same time? Now, remember, before anyone starts shooting their mouths off, what do we do first?"

"Define the question." Moore groaned.

"Right – so do we start with dictionary definitions, or just go with an agreed definition?"

"Hmm, for accuracies sake, we ought to go with dictionary," Jessica considered, "but for the time being, shall we decide? Sometimes the dictionary definition can be more of a hindrance than help, especially as the word won't be in context…"

"I disagree." Moore said, "Even out of context, if we don't have a concrete definition of a word, we still don't have a shared understanding of what it means."

"Oh, shut up Moore," Runty grunted, "there is not such thing as completely shared understanding as life experiences differ so much that entire words mean different things7. I mean, some people think that 'Friends' is funny, but that doesn't mean that entirely predictable jokes based on gender stereotypes and apparently 'crazy' antics are actually funny."

"Ah, that was a little below the belt Roland." Mr Tibbins said, "Admittedly it's true, but although insulting people is part and parcel of academic study, I do wish to not engrain the habit in you."

"Sorry sir," Runty mumbled.

"Now, if we define Comedy as "an action or series of events which makes us laugh" and horror as "actions or events which make us feel disgust, fear or uncomfortable", can these two definatitions ever come together?"

"Well, obviously they do." Dudley piped up.

They all turned around to look at him.

"Back up your claim, Dursley." Mr Tibbins interjected.

"Well, y'know, when something's really funny, but also really wrong…"

"Wrong? Define your terms! Be far more precise boy!"

"Precise? Fuck that! You know exactly what I mean!" Dudley started to yell.

"Do I? How can I tell?"

"Well, if you want an example, I find it incredibly funny that you're still allowed to teach here, even though you're a paedophile who preys on young boys." Dudley spat.

"Ah, I see, you've fallen into the trap of using my homosexuality against me." Mr Tibbins said, "But not only are you being incredibly inaccurate about my feeling, you are deviating off the subject as you don't seem to be able to back up your claim, thus rendering your argument inaccurate and therefore false."

There were a bunch of ill-suppressed giggles as Dudley looked around, turning red. They were laughed at _him_, laughed at his stupidity, never before had these people laughed at him without regretting it, but as he turned to Jessica, seeing here staring at him, her face unchanged he suppressed his anger. Dudley wasn't sure he was able to take it.

"Well, nothing is obvious, as any good philosopher will tell you…"

"G. E. Moore8" Jessica exploded, "What about G.E.Moore and his theory of common sense?"

"Well, Moore was almost as self-important as Russell, and far more of an idiot." Runty exclaimed.

"Oh, says you!" Jessica exclaimed.

"Yeah says me." Runty laughed, "and you know it's true!"

"Wait…what was his theory?" asked Dudley.

Jessica rolled her eyes and said, "Well, extremely and vulgarly simplified, he suggested that unless there was a particularly good reason to doubt anything, one ought not to doubt it as to do so was against common sense…"

"Yeah, but if you don't doubt anything that's not obvious wrong, then you just become a sheep." Dudley answered back, "I mean, just to accept something because it's not obvious wrong just means you never explore anything that just seems right and just accept it."

"Ah, I think you're using the slippery slope argument – is this to say that the definition of 'reasonable doubt' is not quantifiable, and therefore one cannot necessarily define what the cut off point between reasonable doubt and unreasonable doubt?" asked Mr Tibbins.

"Yeah, sure, and common sense isn't a good answer – you can't prove common sense." Dudley sulked.

"Oh, I see, the unquantifiable argument!" Jessica spat, more upset that he'd destroyed her argument than how he'd treated her, "dragging that one out, then?"

"Yeah, I am – You can't quantify common sense 'cause it's not a material thing you can measure."

"well, tell me, can you quantify 'irrational hatred', because I doubt you can, but you seem to have a lot of it." She spat, "every person in this room seems to have been at the end of yours!"

"That's not a fair argument!" Dudley exclaimed.

"Let it stand!" Moore interrupted angrily.

"I wouldn't usually let it stand…" said Mr Tibbins, "but in this case, I'd like to see how you argue yourself out of this hole…"

"It's got nothing to do with the question!"

"It's an interesting side-topic" Mr Tibbins argued quickly.

"Well, when you put it like that…"Dudley said angrily, staring at Jess, "I can't quantify how much I like you, it goes against all common sense, but I do."

Jessica looked at him for a moment. "You can't quantify because it is a quality, quality seems to be something you don't possess." She said quietly

"How can you tell – you've never given me a chance – you're over generalising." Dudley said, leaning forward to touch her hand. Jessica didn't move.

"Smooth…" Runty said, putting his face in his hands.

"Well, from the general consensus in this room, and comparing evidence, I'd say that there was an agreement." Goats spat at Dudley.

Dudley, suddenly realising that he had been insulted spun away from Jessica and, angrily shouted, "Yeah, but at least that's more quantifiable than being a little bitch because I fucked your argument over."

"I don't actually support that argument, you moron!" Goats hissed back, "A five year old could overturn Moore's arguments, haven't you actually read the 'principala ethica' – it's more hard blown than Russell's 'introduction to philosophy'9!"

"What have I said about not personally attacking people?" Mr Tibbins "especially as there's only a minute to the end, and I hate to see these things end on a bad note ."

The bell rang, and the class sedately got up to leave and go to lunch, but before they all left Mr Tibbin's shouted out, "Don't forget that I am taking us on a supervised trip to London overnight, and that glitter is mandatory – _Dursley, please stay after class…."_

The rest of the class laughed at what Dudley assumed was an in joke, with a squeal from Nina, who said, "The watering can song10!"

"I'm so in the front!" Goats laughed, putting his hand around Nina.

"C'mon Jess!" Moore snapped at her, as she walked slowly behind the others, "We need to get good places in the lunch cue!"

Jessica turned around and looked Dudley in the eyes. He couldn't gage her expression properly, but she stared at him a few seconds longer than necessary. Then Moore grabbed her arm, _her arm_, and pulled her out.

As the door slammed shut, Dudley looked MR Tibbins in the eye, alone in the empty, echoy room. "So, what d'ya want." Dudley grunted.

"Why did you come to this class today? As far as I have been informed, you haven't been to classes since your exams."

"Well…" Dudley tried to think of a good reason, but failed.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, I just want to know 'why'."

"Why?"

"I saw you making eyes at Jessica Miller."

"No Sir, I wan't…"

"…now, now Dursley, there's no need to be ashamed, she is a pretty girl, and you are a normal, heterosexual male; but I have to admit, It is shocking to see you go after anyone…not in your social circle…"

"I wasn't chasing her! I came here…I came here to…I came here to make fun of you gang of nerds!"

"Funny, because I didn't hear much teasing…"

"Well…"

"Dudley, can I ask – have you ever really considered Oxbridge before?" Mr Tibbins asked gently.

"No." Dudley answered quietly. His parents were dead set against it – His father insisted that he went to Sheffield, just like he did, and his Mother seemed to think Oxford was full of 'bad influences11 on my dear son, and too much pressure.' It hadn't even crossed his mind, but now, as he stood here, he knew he was about to be told he didn't stand a chance. And he didn't mind. Honestly.

"You know, was that your first time arguing? Have you heard any of those arguments before?"

"No."

"Dudley…I think, that with a bit of coaching and work, you could stand a good chance of getting in."

Dudley was struck silent. "What?" he asked, unable to believe what had just been said.

"I said, that you, Dudley Dursley, are not as unintelligent as you make out that you are. I suggest that you actually have a good brain that just needs a chance to expand."

"Wait – are you saying I should apply to Oxford or Cambridge?"

"Yes."

"But I can't!" he wailed.

"Why not! You've got nothing to lose, and if you go down to interviews, you get a few days off school, and if you get in, you're in one of the best Universities in the world! Now, I know we haven't seen eye to eye before, but I do ask that you at least think seriously about applying."

"But I have crap GCSE12's!"

"Give it a go! I believe that if they give you a chance, they won't be disappointed!"

"Okay – but what if I don't get in?"

"Then you don't get in. Simple as that."

"Learning for learnings sake?"

"Something like that, Dursley." Mr Tibbins sat down at his desk, and said, "You can go to Lunch now if you like, but do think it over."

Dudley rapidly moved towards the door, but just before he touched the door handle Mr Tibbins said, "But if you can, do join us on our Educational Trip next week. It should be rather informative, and dare I say, maybe even…fun."

"What're you doing? Going to museums and crap?" sneered Dudley.

"Yes. But there should be plenty of time for admiring the human form and a little modern musical analysis. Oh, and if you come, don't forget to bring some glitter and make up. It's mandatory for one of the places we're visiting."

"A Museam where they won't let you in without glitter? What kind of a place is that?"

"Oh, it's a very fun place." Mr Tibbins grinned. Dudley decided not to push it, and left very quickly.

Xxxxxxx

I shall leave you to make your own conclusions – also note that I have an odd sympathy for Dudley – Oh, I was most like Runty in this story as far as social status goes, but think about it – he's been encouraged to be violent and angry all his life, but I want to give him a chance to reform.

Too many footnotes….I know most of them are self evident, but I wanted to explain it.

1 Hmm, I don't know how much Goats is going to get developed, but he is vaguely based on a guy studying law I know, who is scarily skinny, seems to live on vodka mixers and never goes out in sunlight.

2 Before this point Runty seems quiet meek and quiet, but here I like to think that amongst his friends, Runty can be quiet forceful on things he thinks matters.

3 My creative writing club at school had 2 members. Whoo yeah.

4 Feel free to have your own opinion, but I can't stand him as a writer. Maybe I'll change, but not for now.

5 History boys – brilliant play, brilliant soundtrack and wickedly funny. Go read/see if if possible. Plus the suspicious Dudley has of Mr Tibbins tie in nicely with the theme of The History Boys.

6 This is kinda an in-gag that is not really understood by anyone who hasn't applied to Oxford, but to sum – you need to choose a college to apply to, and apparently they're all really different. Well, they are, but just to note you don't just apply to Oxford or Cambridge itself, you apply to the college within the Uni, unless you, like me, put in an open application.

7 Witkensteinian/ internalistic philosophy here. Really. Tell me if the philosophy was boring, I mean, I doubt I'll do it again, but if it was really dull I'd rather know now.

8 Ah! Just to clarifyv- there is a character called Moore, plus reference to the Philosopher…I ough to change it, but its not happening. Plus just to say that I lost all respect for G E Moore when he wrote an essay on Utility, having obviously not read any J S Mill. Silly man.

9 Russell – brilliant philosopher, but his introduction to western philosophy shows him to be an arrogant twat.

10 To sum – take one club full of glittery, pretty people and loud glam music. Add a watering can full of Vodka at the front of the stage and watch people dash to the front. Trust me. It's gooooooood!

11 I'm not sure here – possibly drugs (she obviously doesn't know about the weed) or perhaps she thinks it'll turn her son gay XD

12 For American Readers who don't know this term – GCSE's (General Certificates of Secondary Education) are the exams that English kids take at the age of 16, just before they are allowed to leave school. I don't think we get a high school diploma as such, but a lot of separate grades. I mean, you can fail all your GCSE's or not take them (if you're that determined) but after 16 you can't be forced to go to school after the academic year is over. Anyway, this is just to say that the grades Dudley got were not good, definitely not the rumoured minimum of 6 A stars's (higest possible grade at GCSE) you're meant to have to have a chance at Oxford.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Mine's not a high horse

After that confrontation  
You left me wringing my cold hands  
We shared some information  
We might not recover from

And I watch your convictions  
Melt like ice cubes in an ocean  
You were so poorly cast as a malcontent

Mine's not a High Horse – The shins.

It's been a while since I last wrote, and had almost forgotten about this until Darklight reminded me! I've had a little written, but have forgotten exactly where I was taking it, so this will be interesting…

A lot's happened since I last wrote – I've had a whirlwind summer, and a whirlwind year, with glitter, sex, boys, girls and a bit of growing up since. I wonder if that'll change the way this story goes? If anyone wants more details, feel free to Friend me on LJ, my username there is Xandratheblue again.

Well, this chapter I like some of the argument, although I will admit that the pacing and tone isn't obvious in a few sentences unless you re-read them a couple of times. I also like Dudley's revelations, as well as Runty's ability to forgive. I like his speech on morality, right at the end as well. I think that is a very important point in general.

Also – please R and R, even if it is just to say "write more" as I'm picking up a dead project and it's nice to feel out what people want to see. Whilst I'm not going to change direction just for one person, it'd be nice to know how people view it. Harry will hopefully be appearing soon – this story seems a bit more long winded than absolutely necessary.

Enjoy!

XXXXXXX

"Hey, Big D, where've you been all day?" asked Milton as Dudley slumped down next to him in the smeltings food hall.

"I went over to St Beatrice's." Dudley lied, grabbing a chicken leg off Milton's plate.

"Oh – what's happening about you and Sharon then?" asked Piers.

"We're not going out."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't fancy her." Dudley answered savagely.

"What're you wanna do today?" asked Milton, "We could always sneak out and go into town."

"Oh, exciting." Dudley growled sarcastically, "Then afterwards we'll have lashings of Ginger beer! Jesus, you can be so dull when you want to be."

"So, what do you suggest." Asked Milton, looking a little hurt.

"I dunno. We could go to London." Dudley suggested.

"How?"

"How do you think, you nonce? Get on a mega bus and travel up!"

"But Dudley, we don't have any money…"

"Okay then, how about we go to dorms and have a smoke?" said Dudley, "Man, I could do with getting stoned around now." Dudley's mind was spinning, and he needed a break. He knew that later he would have to go into town and get some Vodka, or, even better, break into the bottle of absinth he kept underneath the floorboards. But he had promised himself not to drink it unless there was an extreme situation, for example, his freaky cousin invading Smeltings and those horrible…things…coming in and trying to kill everyone. He still shivered to think about it.

He really needed a shisha now.

"But Dudley, I don't have enough to last 'til the end of term!" Piers complained.

"Don't worry, I have a few personal ones hidden – I won't waste your stuff. Now c'mon, let's go."

However, across the hall at a table inhabited by the kind of people Dudley usually made an effort to harm, he was a hot topic.

"I can't believe he had the gall to turn up!" Goats snapped, "I mean, he turned up, and he…and he…"

"He made an effort." Jess said seriously. "Goats, there's something wrong. In all the year's he's been here, he's never made an effort of any sort."

"I can see it now, "Jean Luke said, "Dudley Dursley makes an effort in a class, next thing you know, Sharon will ask me out on a date, sparrows will start flying backwards and Satan will be having to wrap up warm to go into work."

"Well, the first thing wouldn't be too unlikely, "Nina said, "You're actually quiet attractive behind the glasses, but I agree. This is a destruction of both the hierarchy of the universe and probably the wheel of fortune. Simultaneously. With rabbits."

"Okay, I got everything but the rabbits." Runty said, "They don't seem to be part of any 16th or 17th understanding of the universe."

"I like rabbits…"Nina said quietly.

"Okay, but the point remains. We need to get him out, and quickly." Said Moore.

"Why?" asked Runty.

"Why? Are you an idiot, Roland? That guy'll either kill us, or cause the universe to implode!"

"Look, what I don't get is why it's so much of a big deal if he actually wants to make an effort for once." Runty said quietly.

"Well, I think that, unlike Roland, who seems its okay for Dudley to beat people up and hurt us, that we need to get him back as quickly as possible." Moore said, before anyone else could put forward an idea. "

"No, you're wrong Moore, I think Roland's right. I think we should just let him get on. As long as he doesn't come after any of us, it should be fine." Jessica said.

"Jess, how can you say that…"

"…because I can, Moore," Jessica said quickly, "I think we're just judging him too fast. Maybe he deserves a chance."

"Why?"

"I don't know – I just feel he does."

"Why? You of all people should be defending me." Said Moore, looking actually hurt.

"But I'm not. This is freaky, maybe it's just a universal anomaly taking place because…because the stars are out of alignment, or the God's have thrown a double six in the cosmic board-game, but I think we might as well run with it."

"So, you're saying we should trust him?" Spat Moore, "let him get close, tell him all our secrets, then smile when he bites us on the arse. No Jess, its suicide!"

"No it's not! I never said we had to accept him, but I think we should take him for all he's got. Ruin him. Make him one of us." Jess smiled and evil smile, "remember the ending to 'Freaks'? We'll turn his old life against him and make him wish he'd never taunted us."

"Jess, you're evil." Runty said, "singularly evil. "

"No, we're just giving him his just reward – we've given him enough warning, I think if he's fool enough to walk into the trap, he's fool enough to walk into the trap. Think about it – its not a hunter's fault that a prey falls into a trap, even if they set it up." Moore said, poking her food around her plate with a fork.

"You can't do this – it's cruel to treat him like he's treated us." Runty said, "It's immoral. We have to take the moral high-ground!"

"No. No we don't. Why should we?" asked Moore.

"Because it's all we've got!" Runty shouted at Moore, losing his temper, "look, remember in thirds, when Dursley spread that rumour about you being out of school so much was because you had AID's? No one else would be your friend, would they? Everyone abandoned you, except us. All your old friends wouldn't go near you! So, okay, you go and get your own back, so what? You just start the circle again! The moral high-ground is all we've got. It's all that separates us from becoming like them - that vacuous, empty-headed crowd of dingbats that don't care about the truth, unless it involves a celebrity! We start treated them like they treat us, and we become like them! We become another attention-seeking whore group, except with better fashion sense."

Everyone in a five metre radius fell silence, having watched Runty's outburst. Runty, panting, looked around and turned red. "Oh – yeah." He giggled nervously, "I just got the irony." He panted before sitting down.

XXXXXXXXXXX

That last bit seems more funny in my head than in reality. I also quiet like Moore's backstory – it explains a lot about him. But I've got a bit to get through until I can get Dudley and Harry home, which is where the big arguments come through, and big developments come through 

See you soon!

Xandratheblue


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